Two weeks left
Oh, where to even start this post.
First of all, my maternity leave is almost over. I have 2 weeks of it left. Which leaves me absolutely sad.
Sad because I have had the best time ever being home with my girls. Sad because I have kept up on laundry, cleaning, dishes, making bottles, and making nice dinners and I am afraid I won't be able to when I go back to work. Sad because I don't want to go back to work. AT ALL. Sad because I know we can't afford for me to stay home. It is impossible. Bills trump that. Sad because I will miss everything I do everyday with the girls.
Sad because I will be back on a real life time schedule. I will have to be at work by a certain time in the morning. Meaning I have to plan my showers again. Meaning I will have to pack up two babies to go to grandma's house 2 days a week. Sad because I will feel like my life is more rushed for some reason.
I know, I shouldn't complain. I do only work part time. (Two and a half days to be exact). And I know that it isn't too much time out of my girls life. But, I am still sad. I can't shake this terrible feeling in my stomach that I get when I think about going back to work.
Gary is sympathetic though. He even offered to work a part time job in order for me to stay home. I don't know if he was 100% willing, but he offered it because he knows how much I love being home. I absolutely could NOT have him work 2 jobs and never be home just so I can stay home. Plus, I make much more than he would at any P/T job and with my hours, we aren't losing time together in the evening, so it would be so selfish and silly of me to let him get a second job.
I am sure once I get back to work, it'll be fine. Maybe I will even appreciate the "break" from the girls, but right now I can't think of that. I just keep thinking how miserable I will be.
I am really going to try to enjoy these last two weeks as much as I possibly can. I need to stop thinking about the time left as it is only makes me sad. I need to positive in thinking that I was lucky to spend 12 weeks home with the girls. I just can't believe it is almost over.
posted by Linda @ 11:35 AM
3 Fabulous Comments
3 Comments:
Man, I remember how I felt when my time was up...and I only had six weeks. I would have loved twelve! But I can totally relate. You hit the nail on the head though, at least it is only 2 1/2 days and not full time. I'm sure you will e thankful for the little break once you get back into the swing of things. A little adult interaction could be just what the doctor ordered. Chin up!
Sorry you're sad, Linda! But it won't be so bad once you get into the routine--the first week or so of anything new is always the worst, but if you stick with it, it's bound to get better.
I remember when I had to go back to work. I actually went back to work a month before my maternity leave was over because I got a new job and they couldn't wait a month for me to start. When I was home, the laundry was done, the house was clean, dinner was cooked before hubby got home, but now forget it! You will be fine though =)
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