Frustrated
Gary and I keep having the same argument when naming our "boy" (which we don't know if it is a boy or girl yet).
Gary is stuck on the name Gary (the 3rd) for a boy. I do not want that name at all. Is that wrong of me?
After Alyssa was born and we found out she was a girl, I was relieved that we wouldn't have to use the name Gary the 3rd. I realized at that moment how much I didn't want there to be two Garys in the house and now I really don't want to even agree on the name this time around. I told him that I thought that we should come up with a name that we both agree on. He isn't so happy about that. He really wants to keep the name going and I don't. I don't want to call my son by his middle name and there is no other way of shortening the name "Gary".
Another thing I told him was last time when discussing girls names, I wanted the name Madelyn. He said that name was his grandma's sister's name and that nobody liked her and we shouldn't use that name. At that moment, I dropped the idea of that name and moved on. It is the same thing this time, we should both agree on the name.
Maybe I am being completely wrong about this whole thing, but I think that my opinion should matter in this too. I mean I am carrying this baby for 9 months, I should be able to have a say in the name we choose, right?
I thought that we had decided to pick another name, but then when we have a discussion about names, he keeps saying that his only choice for a boy is "Gary" and I end up getting really mad and frustrated. He keeps telling me that he gave me the wedding of my dreams and this is his dream of carrying on his name. I think that those are two totally different situations and when planning our wedding he NEVER told me that he didn't want a big fancy wedding or that he only wanted to go the the courts. If he would have, I could have taken his feelings into consideration.
posted by Linda @ 7:28 AM
6 Fabulous Comments
6 Comments:
We've used the only boy name we agree on, so I don't know what we'll do if we have another boy.
What we did to keep from arguing is put a list on the fridge, we'd each write the names we liked on it and then the other could cross names off as he/she wished. We had an agreement that once a name was crossed off, there was no going back. It made it easier because we weren't *talking* about it so there were no arguments.
Maybe you guys could agree on Gary as the middle name and then do a list like we did? I don't know if he's willing to do that.
I am sorry that you are so frustrated by this :( It was really hard for Josh and I to come up with a name for Tristyn. He hated everything under the sun and the family wanted us to continue the tradition of the first name beginning with a "J".
I do think that you should both 100% agree on the name because it's something that is so permanent. Hopefully Gary will back down, LOL.
I think you should agree on names too. My dad and brother's names are Gary and if I'm going to ever name a child after my dad, I'll use his middle name like my sister did. I don't know what it is about boys names, but hubby and I couldn't agree on boys either.
Good luck with agreeing on names. I hope it gets easier.
His child will carry on his name. His last name. He doesn't need to have the same first and middle names too.
Like my sissy Beth, lol, our dad's name is Gary and our brother was named after him. I remember my mom saying she would never name another kid after one of them only because for 1. it's confusing (when trying to talk to one of them) and 2. Our brother hates being called "little Gary", or "Jr."
I used my dad's middle name for my son only because it's so hard to find a middle name or first name that goes well with Gary. lol.
I can see how hard it is for you to come to an agreement on names, we were doing the same thing on this end, but I think eventually something will just come to you and you guys will come to some sort of arangement.
Good Luck!
I always swore up and down that I would never ever ever name my kid the same name as someone else. You know the saying ... never say never. I then fell in love with a Jr. whose dad had died when he was 13 and his name was the only thing left of his father that he had to pass on to his son (well an a love of the guitar). My DH had planned his entire life to name his son Charles Culbert H#@!$@, III and I was totally against it. I hate the name Culbert and between my DH and his dad the names Charles (what I call dh) and Charlie (whatever one called FIL) and Chuck (what Dh's family calls him) were all used up and I didn't know what to call him. We finally after over a year of argueing (we started argueing this way before I got pregnant .. before we even got married) I decided that I would go for it ONLY if we could come up with a nickname that I agreed to and liked. I refused to have a Big Charles and Little Charles in the same house. I originally wanted to call him Trey which I totally loved for the pronunciation of Tres (french for three), but Charles wouldn't go for it. I also had a friend in highschool who was a III and went by Tripp (short for Triple). We ended up taking Charles and Trip and put it together and calling him Chip. Chip totally fits him and half the time I forget his really name is actually Charles Culbert H#@!$@, III.
You have to do what you can but it's really hard for me to go against something my husband has dreamed of his whole life .. so we compromised and came up with a nickname we could all agree on.
Oh you could also use Chip even for Gary, III because I have heard others using it that way as "Chip off the old block". Good luck whatever you decide.
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