Concerned for my father

Wednesday was my dad's birthday. He turned 49 this year. I called him and asked him if he would like to go out to dinner on Sunday with our whole family (well, just our immediate family which includes my sister, her boyfriend, my 2 stepbrothers, my stepbrother's fiance, their 2 kids, Gary, Alyssa, me and my stepmom). At first he agreed and then later called me (about 5 hours later) and said that he really didn't feel like celebrating. I asked him why and he said that he has some things going on and he just didn't feel like celebrating. I felt really sad for him. I asked if he wanted to talk about it and he said he couldn't because he was at work. I haven't heard from him since. He is a busy man. He works 2 jobs and is involved with his AA groups.

My stepbrother's fiance and I are pretty close. About a month ago she questioned me about my dad and stepmom's relationship. She asked me if my dad had said anything to me. I told her no and that my dad isn't a very good communicator and that he really keeps everything to himself. I asked her what my stepmom had said to her and she was pretty quiet about it. All she did say was that my stepmom said that my dad is gambling again and it is not good. I think she had held back because she didn't want to get in the middle and have me go back to my dad, which I totally wouldn't do that to her or myself really. I have to admit that it is really bothering me that my stepmom is telling her all of this stuff and I know nothing. Granted, I don't have the relationship with my stepmom that my future SIL has with her. My stepmom actually hasn't seen Alyssa since June. I know the phone works both ways, but exactly, the phone works both ways. My future SIL did say that no matter what happens she wants to always stay close with us and that we will always do things together. She also said that it would be sad not to do Christmas brunch every year like we normally do with my dad and stepmom. So, my stepmom is talking about divorce, obviously.

I feel so bad for him and for them. I know they don't have a normal marriage. My dad works a lot and he is very busy. It is hard for me to get a hold of him half the time. My stepmom deals with depression and doesn't like to go to anything involving my dad's family. I truly hope that divorce really isn't in the cards for them, but if it makes them both happier, then I guess that would be the answer.

I have talked to my mom about this, although I knew she would have nothing good to say. And even though she didn't bash him like I thought she would, she just claimed, "that's your dad".

Another thing that bothered me about my dad is that I found out he isn't taking his diabetic medication. He said his doctor has moved out of state and he needs to find a new doctor and hasn't done that yet. So, he isn't taking his daily medication forcing to go to the bathroom about every 10 minutes. That worries me too.