Temper Tantrums
I can't stand them anymore.
I want to know where my sweet, awesome, well behaved, never got into anything baby went! Oh, she turned into a freakin' toddler...
Alyssa has really been playing the temper tantrum card lately. If she doesn't get something she wants, she throws a tantrum. If something doesn't go her way, she throws a temper tantrum.
Today was a tantrum nightmare!! I decided to go to Target to look for a picture frame. I put Alyssa in the front of the cart buckled in. After only 5 minutes she started to fuss. I took her coat off because I thought she might be hot. She then started to whine and lean her body over the side of the cart. Then she brought her legs up and started to stand up as much as she could and try to lean over the side. So, I put her in the back of the cart, which is what she really wanted (thanks Gary). She got a hold of my purse and emptied everything into the cart. I decided to pick out the frame and get the heck out of there. So, we are standing in line and I thought I would start to put together my purse again. Um, that was a big NO, NO. She started to scream at me and take the things out of my hand and keep them in the cart. So, I grab my checkbook even though she screamed at me for about a minute and paid the cashier and we head to the door. Well, now I need to put together my purse and put a hat and coat on this toddler. So, I picked her up and she started to scream and flip herself back on me. My 13 year old sister was with me, so I asked her to grab all my purse things. Not one second after she got my purse together the fucking security guard grabbed our cart from us and put it away. So, here I am trying to put a coat on a toddler, who isn't cooperating and screaming her head off. I couldn't get the damn coat on her. I tried to stand her on the ground and she threw herself on the floor face first. So, I grab her, the tears are rolling down my face as I couldn't control my spastic 1 1/2 year old. We go and sit on a bench and I try to wait for Alyssa to calm down. I kept telling her to calm down and trying to hug her, but all she wanted to do was scream in my face and try to get off of my lap. She then starts hitting me in the face and pulling my hair. Then some old lady was trying to tell her that Santa was watching her. Yeah, lady, thanks for the help, but she has no fucking clue who Santa is right now. So, she is still not letting me get her friggin' coat on. I sat there for 15 more minutes with a screaming child who would NOT let me get the damn coat on her. I was staring at the wall and couldn't control the tears. I felt so stupid and helpless and the fact that I couldn't stop her from throwing this tantrum was so hard for me to handle. I finally got the damn coat on her arms. I didn't get the hat on and she didn't have the coat zipped, but we finally left the store. I cried the whole way home and am tearing up right now as I type. I just don't know what to do. Should I have left with no coat on the kid in this cold weather? Or did I do the right thing, by waiting at the store. I must have gotten a million dirty looks. I am glad that I was facing the wall, so I couldn't see them. It was a total nightmare today.
So, what am I supposed to do when she throws these tantrums? At home, I know I can try to ignore them, even though she will walk right in front of me and follow me around screaming her head off. But, what do you do when you are out?
In addition to the tantrums has come whining. She whines a lot lately. If I get on the computer for a minute, she will whine. If the phone rings and I answer it, she whines. She only does this to me. I feel so bad saying this, but I really can't take it anymore, it is driving me insane!!
posted by Linda @ 10:35 PM
5 Fabulous Comments
5 Comments:
oh Linda...I'm so sorry.
I think you did everything right. I've been reading up on how to handle temper tantrums and Dr. Sears (though an idiot in other regards) says to hold your child, let them scream, but also let them know you understand their frustration and that you are there if you need them.
But! It's fucking hard to hold a wiggley, screaming toddler. It's better than letting them hurt themselves on the hard floors at stores.
Fuck anyone who thought negatively about you. They either a) don't have kids or b) gave birth to perfect little angels...which you know is a lie.
I love you Linda, hope your holidays are good!!!
Liam is going to be a tantrum throw-er. He already does and he's only 11 months. He arches his back and throws himself on the ground or he lays on the ground with his forhead on the ground and screams. Apparantly I was really bad. I suppose its some sort of revenge.
I wish I had advice. All I can offer is sympathy.
Merry Christmas!
I know how you feel. Zachary is in that stage too. Especially the whining. He has tried the temper tantrums, but when he does them we just laugh at him and ignore them. So he has given up on the throwing himself on the floor thing. The whining is very annoying though, and I force myself not to give in. Olivia went through it, and I found the best thing is to ignore her. No matter how many dirty looks we got in stores and stuff, I just ignored her. If she threw a tantrum in a resteraunt or store, I or hubby would simply take her out to the car, sit her in her carseat, and let her scream. Same has gone for Zachary (we have left a couple resteraunts and stuff already!! lol) I know allot of people say it's hard to do that all the time,or it is insenstive to ignore the child, but it is what I found worked for me. I have tried to pick my battles well (if it's just a damn cookie they want and it's easy and cheap, i'll get it to avoid a tantrum, but if it's ripping my credit cards out and thrwoing them all over the ground (which Zachary did) then I will put my foot down and not let him do it no matter how much he screams at me) and so far it is going smoothly. Zachary is much more stubborn then Olivia ever was, so he is a bit harder to control, but I found that not giving in, and showing them who is boss works well for me. I just don't think giving in, letting them get their way and ruining outings is exceptable because you are afraid of what other people might say or do or how they look at you. If my child needs a smack and to be taken out to the car, so be it.
I hope you find a way that works for you. I know how frustrating it can be. Don't worry about what other people think, it's your child and you are the one who needs to find a way to work with what you have. Good luck, sorry for the book and hope it all gets better!!! :)
Oh my gosh Linda what a day! Screw what everyone else thought about you and how you handled things. You did the best you could and what works for you.
I hope the tantrums lessen soon. Carter has been assurting himself as well. He doesn't have full blown drop down tantrums but the kid's a PITA for sure! His favorite thing to do these days is hit or point his finger and say "No". The kid just won't listen.
You're in my thoughts.
first of all...everybody and I mean EVERYBODY has gone through this....
you are not alone.
Put the coat on over her arms, like a mummy next time, and just go. And don't give in.
The main thing is to hang firm. If she throws these fits on you. Leave the store or remove her from what she wants. Smart children will get it ...But I hope I'm not making it sound like it happens over night...cause it don't.
Hang in there honey. People who offer unsolicited advice like those in the store, well they've forgotten what it's like. Pity them, not yourself. These are the best years, really, they are.
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