Back to My Old Self

Ok, I am back to my old self again. I just had a bad last couple of days. And the weird thing is now I don't even know why. I wish I could put it into words, but it was just a feeling and the feeling is now gone (I think).

After I had Alyssa, the day we were leaving the hospital, the baby blues hit me. That morning my mom called and I cried. The nurses came in, I cried. Gary asked me what was wrong, I cried. When we came home, I still cried. I thought it was just the hospital that was getting to me, but it wasn't. I really didn't want to do anything. I didn't want anyone over. I didn't want to hear how beautiful Alyssa was. I didn't want anyone else to hold her. It was the WORST feeling I have ever had in my entire life. I am normally a very happy person, and that just wasn't me.

And then about a week later, I was better. Just like that, those feelings were gone. I remember that feeling so vividly. I am starting to get hazy about the labor and delivery, but the baby blues I remember like it was yesterday.

What I was feeling the past few days had nothing to do with depression or anything, I was just in a mood. It happens from time to time and I get over it. It usually doesn't take long and it doesn't happen too often. I am just glad that I am back to my old self!