Baby Talk

As you may or may not have read and picked up from my list of 101 things about me is that I have officially stopped taking birth control. I stopped about three months ago and have been somewhat careful near the time that I ovulate (yes, I am pretty sure I know when I do), so that we wouldn't conceive another baby quite yet.

Today I wanted to write and get out everything that I have been feeling and thinking about when trying to decide when conceiving the next child. Now, I know for some of you this might be a somewhat sore subject, since you may have had difficulties in the past getting pregnant and feel that I should just let nature run it's course. Please don't take this post in any negative way, just that I am trying to decide when it would be the best time for me and my family to have another addition.

What made me starting really thinking about everything is that next month would be the month to conceive to make them pretty much exactly two years apart. I had originally wanted the next baby to born around the same time so that if it happens to be another girl, I would be set with baby clothes!! (I know silly, but I am silly like that).

Originally, (even before Alyssa was born), I thought I wanted my first and second babies two years apart. I had several reasons for wanting another baby at that time (and some of them may be silly, but it is me and if you remember, I over analyze EVERYTHING).
* Of course, the obvious, they would be very close in age.
* I didn't want to get out of baby-mode. I wanted to still be used to changing diapers and the crying when they can't communicate to me what they want.
* I thought if Alyssa was younger, she would become less jealous, since she might not understand well enough to get jealous.
* I thought that if I wanted a third, I could give it some time and not be too far into my 30's. (that is of course a big IF).
* I thought why not get it over and have the baby now.

Ok, those are all some pretty good reasons (to me) and there may be a few that I am not thinking about right now, but something is really holding me back.

I have now come up with a list of reasons why it would be good to wait another year.
* Gives me one more year of alone time with Alyssa.
* Gives Alyssa one more year to understand the concept of being a big sister.
* Alyssa would be able to help me and then be less jealous?!? (that I am not sure of, but if it works that way, awesome!)
* Alyssa would be able to go into a big girls bed (which my mom already has a super cute one that was my sister's to give to me), so then I wouldn't have to buy another crib.
* Alyssa could possibly be potty trained, so that I wouldn't have to buy two sizes of diapers.
* Alyssa is so much fun right now. It is easy to take her places and go anywhere with her.

I am so torn in what to do. My friends have reminded me that I was this analytical when I was debating on when to get pregnant the first time. They say that I should just do it because, as with Alyssa, I will be so glad that I did it after it is over.

I have decided to stay off of the pill and if anything happens, it happens. Believe me if I were to get pregnant I would be extremely happy. Nervous, but happy, and I know that everything would be OK. But, I think that I have came to the conclusion that I am going to postpone trying to conceive another child for at least a couple months.