Disappointed

Sometimes I am disappointed with how much I work out and keep active and I am still so overweight.

What got me thinking about this is that tomorrow I have my yearly doctor's appt and I have to get weighed. I was thinking that I was somewhat close to my pre-pregnancy weight, but after weighing myself yesterday, I am still 10 pounds off.

For about 3 years I have had my exercise routine of working out 3 times a week. I really stick to it and within the first year lost about 60 pounds. Now that is a lot of weight, but I am still a big girl. I have a lot more weight to lose. I thought that after I had Alyssa, the weight would drop off as I got back into my workout routine again. That hasn't happened yet.

With the summer here, I have made efforts to go on long walks with Alyssa. I have made efforts to get out of the house and go to the pool or go shopping. I always feel like I am busy and doing something, but this weight just won't go anywhere.

I know that I do need to work on my eating habits better, but I don't feel that I am too horrible. I mean, I know I could be better, but also could be much worse. I always opt for low fat and fat free items. We have switched to the lowest fat ground meat, turkey burgers, and I eat lots of chicken. I only drink water, diet pop or 1% milk.

I never thought myself to have a thyroid problem or anything. I don't think I have any other symptoms of that, but I wonder if there is something else that could be stopping this weight loss. I feel as if I am stuck and I don't know what to do. Don't worry, I won't stop exercising because I love it and it makes me feel good. Plus if I quit that, then I will probably gain 20 more pounds.

Sorry for the depressive post, I just wanted to get out my frustrations about this damn extra weight. I feel as if I will carry it around forever.

What a weekend

First I wanted to say thanks to Melissa for naming me blog of the day. I feel very special!

My weekend was very busy!! It started on Friday with a pool trip and going to the mall for a friend to get her daughter's ears pierced. She kept trying to convince me to get Alyssa's ears pierced, but I just couldn't do it. I am way too much of a nervous mom right now. When Alyssa gets mad, she always pulls on her ears. I worry that she would pull those earrings right out. I also remember when I got to choose to go and get my ears pierced. Even though I was only 8, it felt so grown up to be able to make the decision to do something to my body. It would be nice for Alyssa to get that same feeling.

Friday evening we went to a friends son's birthday party. He turned 5. It is amazing how fast time flies by. I remember seeing him in the hospital when he was first born.

Saturday I cleaned my house and went to the pool again with my mom. My mom and I had a conversation about her thoughts on relocating to Georgia. I started to cry when I told her how I can't imagine her not being there for Alyssa growing up. She told me that while Georgia isn't completely out of their thoughts, that the chances of them moving there are very slim. She said my stepdad hasn't even looked at the classifieds or real estate ads yet, so that makes her think he isn't serious about it right now.

Saturday evening I went to a batchelorette party for my cousin. The night started great, but ended not so well. Our last stop was to the downtown area to a danceclub (fun). 2:30 (am - yes, I couldn't believe I made it), we called our limo to come and get us and the driver informs us the bus has broken down. Now this driver is a friend of my uncle's (cousin's dad). We patiently waited on the curb of downtown Cleveland until 3:30 when the limo was fixed and came to get us. This was after numerous calls to different dads and taxi companies, but I really wasn't involved and I didn't want to be. I just wanted to go home. Halfway home, my cousin says that she can't find her cell phone. Someone says that she probably left it on the curb. So, we turn around, go back downtown and get her cell phone (it was there, thank god). Then on the way home again, my cousin now gets sick. So, we had to pull the limo bus over and let her get sick. I ended up not getting home until 4:30.

7:30 am Sunday morning - Gary's alarm goes off. He says that he talked to a friend and they are going golfing. You have got to be kidding me, 3 hours of sleep after drinking all night and I have to wake up with Alyssa. GREAT! And of, course she was up by 8:00.

I got ready for the cookout in the morning. By 12:30, Gary, Alyssa and I went to this open house thing my friend was having for a new business she is venturing into. By 3:30 we were home and preparing for my family to come for the cookout. The cookout was great. Alyssa got to play with her cousin. They are just too cute together, even when they are stealing each other's toys. They are coming again on Wednesday to go swimming...Yay!!

Last night I was pooped! And then I had to work today until 1! I am still pooped.

Today is Gary's birthday. He is the big 28! He was really hoping for Alyssa to walk for his birthday present.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY, I LOVE YOU!! I hope that you have a wonderful day, (we will forget about you getting called out for work). I hope that you liked your present (new golf bag and golf balls) from Alyssa and I.

Wow, this was a very long post. I hope that if you are a new visitor, you made it though. Well, actually I hope all my old visitors made it through too!

Such a klutz

When packing to come home, I didn't have the guard on my shaver. I know pretty stupid!! Well, I was trying to shove my shampoo into the compartment of my suitcase with one hand, shaver in another. The hand with the shampoo slipped and my hand got shaved. It bled like crazy. So, I will probably be left with that as a permanent souvenir from Georgia.

Then today, Alyssa and I were about to go to the pool. I went to take two bags to the car and when I was going out of the house, my ankle gave out and I landed on my knee. Thank god I didn't have Alyssa in my arms. I am left with a twisted swollen ankle and a very scrapped knee.

When is this clumsiness going to stop. I feel like a kid with all my scraps, bruises and bug bites.

I was going to post a picture of my knee, but I don't want to gross anyone out.

This makes me sick

So, while we are in Georgia, my mom picks up a newspaper and a couple real estate books.

I asked her what she was looking for and she said that my stepdad wants to see what is out there.

I asked her if they would move to Georgia and she said that if in September when their work contract (they both work for the same company) doesn't go the way they want it to, my stepdad is going to retire and they may move to Georgia.

WHAT THE FUCK?

I am writing this and I am about to throw up because it makes me sick to think that my mom could move away from me...move away from ALYSSA.

I can't imagine life without my mom. She is such a support for me and I would be lost without her.

My grandparents moved to Georgia when I was 15. Since they left, I am not very close to them. We really don't talk on the phone and I have only been down to visit twice in 12 years. I do not want that for Alyssa. I want her and my mom to be close. I want my mom to be here for everything in Alyssa's life and be here for the life of any future children I have.

This makes me incredibly sad. When I asked her how she could make this decision and live without Alyssa and me only 5 minutes away, she just replied "if my husband goes, I must go too". What kind of answer is that?!?!?

Gary has been so sweet, he told me after this conversation with my mom that he could see himself living there and and that he would leave his parents to move there. Even though I know I said I could live there too, I just don't know if I could leave everything and everyone that is here.

I guess I will be hoping for the best in September, but can't help but think about the worst.

ABC Game

Here is a fun ABC - get to know you - game I took this from Heather.

A is for Age - 27
B is for Booze - Bud Light or Mudslides
C is for Career - P/T Quality Assurance Assistant - F/T Mom
D is for Dad's name - Robert (Bob)
E is for Essential Item to bring to a Party - Music
F is for Favorite Songs at the Moment -- I have been listening to country lately...that is something I never thought I would get into.
G is for Goof off thing to do - Blog and play on the computer. Hang out with Gary and Alyssa.
H is for Hometown - Near Cleveland, Ohio
I is for Instrument you play - Um, I am musically challenged.
J is for Jam or Jelly you like - Grape on toast
K is for Kids - One amazing little girl, Alyssa.
L is for Living arrangement - Gary, me, Alyssa and our kitty Casper in our grey colonial house.
M is for Mom's name - Diane
N is for Names of best friends - Dawn, Heather, Cyndi, my mom, Alyssa (and if we count our online best friend, Christina)
O is for overnight hospital stays - 1 for having Alyssa
P is for Phobias - Spiders and severe thunderstorms
Q is for Quote you like - I am the worst when it comes to quoting anything, so I will skip this one. Heather, I loved your quote, but didn't want to steal it and I definitely wouldn't have thought of that on my own.
R is for Relationship that lasted longest - With my hubby Gary - Was 7 years in Feb - married for 3 1/2.
S is for Siblings - Two younger sisters, Kathy and Stephanie and two younger stepbrothers, Jeff and Chris.
T is for Texas , Ever been? - Nope
U is for Unique trait - I have no clue!!
V if for Vegetable you love - Corn
W is for Worst traits - I am with you Heather - Temper and spending money
X is for XRays you've had - Ankle
Y is for Yummy food you make - Lasagna
Z is for Zodiac sign - Taurus

I am back!!!

We are back from our trip.

Georgia is awesome!! It is beautiful!! We stayed in Fayetteville and my aunt and uncle have this awesome house with a huge pool and acres and acres of land.

Here is Alyssa and Daddy in the pool. Alyssa LOVED the pool. She is definitely a water baby. It was awesome. I want a pool now.


We went to Lake Winnie (which is near or in -- I am not sure -- Tennessee). Here is Alyssa on her first ride ever. It was the boats. She loved this too. She threw a fit when I took her off of the ride.


And here is Alyssa on the bug ride with her Aunt Stephanie. She loved this one too! (Sorry it is a little blury).


Alyssa with Aunt Kathy's sunglasses on.


We went for a bike ride. Gary and I loved all of the bike paths around. Alyssa loved the cool ride. Gary and I now want to invest in a couple bikes and one of these awesome child carriers.


It was such a relaxing trip. We are definitely glad to be home, but we think Georgia would be an awesome place to live. I have a lot to catch up on from being gone and I have a lot of laundry to do here. Boy, do I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow...ugghhhh!!

I really am going to miss everyone

I am super excited about going on vacation tomorrow!!

I am almost done packing. Alyssa is already in bed, since I have to wake her up tomorrow at 4:15 am (painful, I know). I will probably be up by 3:30.

Gary has been such a huge help these last couple days. I had to work a full day yesterday and today (it was horrible!!) and he cleaned the house and did a whole bunch of miscellaneous chores to help me out tonight.

Our flight leaves at 7:00 am. I really hope Alyssa is good on the flight. We have plenty of snacks, books and a few toys for her to play with. Thank god the flight is only about an hour and a half.

I have to admit, I will miss all my online friends. Sorry if I haven't had time to comment on your posts lately, but I have been extremely busy. I will have to catch up on everything when I return. Have a great rest of the week and weekend. I will be back on Sunday!

Baby Talk

As you may or may not have read and picked up from my list of 101 things about me is that I have officially stopped taking birth control. I stopped about three months ago and have been somewhat careful near the time that I ovulate (yes, I am pretty sure I know when I do), so that we wouldn't conceive another baby quite yet.

Today I wanted to write and get out everything that I have been feeling and thinking about when trying to decide when conceiving the next child. Now, I know for some of you this might be a somewhat sore subject, since you may have had difficulties in the past getting pregnant and feel that I should just let nature run it's course. Please don't take this post in any negative way, just that I am trying to decide when it would be the best time for me and my family to have another addition.

What made me starting really thinking about everything is that next month would be the month to conceive to make them pretty much exactly two years apart. I had originally wanted the next baby to born around the same time so that if it happens to be another girl, I would be set with baby clothes!! (I know silly, but I am silly like that).

Originally, (even before Alyssa was born), I thought I wanted my first and second babies two years apart. I had several reasons for wanting another baby at that time (and some of them may be silly, but it is me and if you remember, I over analyze EVERYTHING).
* Of course, the obvious, they would be very close in age.
* I didn't want to get out of baby-mode. I wanted to still be used to changing diapers and the crying when they can't communicate to me what they want.
* I thought if Alyssa was younger, she would become less jealous, since she might not understand well enough to get jealous.
* I thought that if I wanted a third, I could give it some time and not be too far into my 30's. (that is of course a big IF).
* I thought why not get it over and have the baby now.

Ok, those are all some pretty good reasons (to me) and there may be a few that I am not thinking about right now, but something is really holding me back.

I have now come up with a list of reasons why it would be good to wait another year.
* Gives me one more year of alone time with Alyssa.
* Gives Alyssa one more year to understand the concept of being a big sister.
* Alyssa would be able to help me and then be less jealous?!? (that I am not sure of, but if it works that way, awesome!)
* Alyssa would be able to go into a big girls bed (which my mom already has a super cute one that was my sister's to give to me), so then I wouldn't have to buy another crib.
* Alyssa could possibly be potty trained, so that I wouldn't have to buy two sizes of diapers.
* Alyssa is so much fun right now. It is easy to take her places and go anywhere with her.

I am so torn in what to do. My friends have reminded me that I was this analytical when I was debating on when to get pregnant the first time. They say that I should just do it because, as with Alyssa, I will be so glad that I did it after it is over.

I have decided to stay off of the pill and if anything happens, it happens. Believe me if I were to get pregnant I would be extremely happy. Nervous, but happy, and I know that everything would be OK. But, I think that I have came to the conclusion that I am going to postpone trying to conceive another child for at least a couple months.

Fun questionnaire!

I was tagged by both Christina and Melissa, so here I go...

10 years ago, I....
1. Finished being a junior in high school.
2. Worked at Arby's.
3. Got drunk for the first time.

5 years ago, I....
1. Was engaged and planning my wedding
2. Worked at the same place I do now, but instead of a quality assurance assistant, I was a production assistant (either way a freaking data entry/clerical employee...LOL).
3. Thought about buying a house

Today I ....
1. Took a walk to the store in the freakin' hot, hot weather
2. Met Gary for lunch with Alyssa
3. Did three loads of laundry and starting packing for our trip

Tomorrow, I will....
1. Go to Jazzercise in the morning
2. Try to pack some more for the trip
3. Try to clean the house

3 Snacks I Enjoy:
1. Rice Krispy Treats (premade)
2. Ice Cream (preferably Cold Stone Creamery, but other kinds will do).
3. Cookies
(Yep, all sweet and all junk food).

5 Songs I know all the words to, even with out the Music:
1. Ice, Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice (took from Christina)
2. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen (took from Christina)
3. any song by Billy Joel
4. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
5. The Wheels on the bus
Hey...I suck at remembering what songs I know.

Things I would do with $100,000,000:
1. Buy a bigger house with a garage already there and a basement and a den on the main floor.
2. Pay off ALL debts!!!
3. Get Gary a new car.

5 Locations I'd run away to:
1. Hawaii
2. Italy
3. Anywhere there is a beach and sunny...I don't have specifics, send me anywhere!!!
4. Same as above
5. Same as above

5 Bad habits I have:
1. I swear pretty bad and often
2. I over analyze EVERYTHING!!
3. I worry way too much (I guess that goes with #2)
4. I bite my nails
5. I lose my temper quickly

5 Things I like Doing:
1. Spending time with Alyssa & Gary
2. Blogging and playing on the computer
3. Sleeping
4. Camping (as long as there is a real bathroom nearby -- took from Christina, but that is exactly how I am with camping too).
5. Going to Jazzercise

5 Things I would Never Wear:
1. A two piece bathing suit
2. High heels (my ankles are way too weak for those).
3. Halter top
4. Strapless dress
5. Mini skirts or daisy-duke shorts

TV Shows I like:
1. CSI (Las Vegas only)
2. Survivor
3. Amazing Race
4. Newlyweds (Nick and Jessica -- Nick is freakin' hot and I love to laugh at Jessica).

Movies I like:
1. Wedding Singer
2. Titanic (because this is the first movie Gary and I saw together)
3. Dirty Dancing

5 famous people I would like to meet:
1. Nick Lachey
2. I don't know who I would want to meet.
3. I would probably freeze and act like an ass
4. if I ever did meet
5. anyone famous.

5 Biggest Joys at the Moment:
1. Alyssa
2. The fact that Alyssa is napping
3. The fact that I have off of work on Friday, Saturday and Sunday
4. The fact that I am going on vacation next week
5. And the fact that I am almost all the way caught up with laundry (that NEVER happens).

Whew, Ok, I am done! That was fun although I hate when I can't think of an answer.

Now, I tag Heather, Kether and Kami. Have fun girls!!

My future computer geek

And I would be so proud!! If she was (she could help me, the computer moron)!! Here is Alyssa "working" on the computer. I think she has a blog, but isn't telling me where it is at so that I don't read her personal thoughts...LOL!

She LOVES the computer. She is always trying to bang on the keyboard and if I am on it and she is awake, she will come over and push all of the buttons and make the computer do some very strange things.

I am constantly telling her "no", even though she doesn't listen. Of course she probably doesn't think she is doing anything wrong, since daddy will open up Microsoft word and let her have fun with banging on the keyboard.

Sorry, I have been MIA

I know that I haven't written in a few days and I apologize! I actually tried a couple times to come on here and create a post and then I will sit there with a blank mind. It happens sometimes and I hate it!!

Everything is Ok. Alyssa is feeling better, but still has a little diarrhea. No fun there! I am starting to feel bad because I thought Alyssa was better, so I went to Jazzercise on Saturday morning while a friend of mine and her son watched Alyssa. Two days later, he was sick with the flu. He is 4 and the mom told me not to feel bad (at least he can make it to the toilet). But then today another friend called and said her 6 month old has diarrhea. She was over on Monday night. Hey, I didn't tell her to come over, she just did. Wow, leave it to me the bad mommy friend to take her sick kid around everyone else's healthy kids.

On another note, my FIL came over today to grind out the stump in our back yard! Yay, one step closer to us building our garage. I am very excited!

I feel like I have so much going on before I leave on vacation next week. I feel like I don't have enough time to accomplish anything. If only I didn't work...LOL! I shouldn't go to Jazzercise tonight, but I have to, especially since I won't be there all next week. Yesterday I went to Walmart and spent $123.00 on stuff for our trip. I bought a couple pair of cute cheap flip flops and some tank tops and tees. I also got Alyssa a couple summer-fun outfits and some travel gear. I am very nervous that I am going to forget things, especially stuff for Alyssa. I know there are stores in Georgia, but I hate the feeling of forgetting something.

Thanks for everyone's comments on my new header. Taylor did an awesome job and I just love coming to my own site to look at all those pictures of my baby!

Well, sorry for the miscellaneous babble. Just getting all of my thoughts out, but then again, that is what a blog is for, right?!?

Thanks!!!

Thank you so much, Taylor, for designing my new header, I LOVE it!!

I will give you my address, so you can send me the bill...LOL!

I have to go, Gary is waiting in the car for me right now, so we can go to dinner.

Stuff Portrait Friday

I have decided to play along with the SPF (stuff portrait friday) that Kristine has each week.

Here is my computer and desk:


Here is my small collection of something. I have started to collect Precious Moments, but don't have too many yet. Sorry about the flash on the glass in my curio cabinet.


And, my favorite to show off is Alyssa's room:

Yummy Potato Soup

As requested, I am posting the recipe for the potato soup. It is a crock pot recipe.

5 Large Potatoes
1 Medium Onion
1 Tbsp Margarine
3 Chicken Bouillon Cubes
1 Tbsp of Parsley - dry
3 Cups of Water

1 Cup of Milk
1/4 Cup of Flour (mixed with water)
1/2 container of Sour Cream

Shredded Cheddar Cheese

Cut up the potatoes into small cubes and put them in the crock pot. Add the next 5 ingredients to the crock pot as well. Cook all day (8 hrs) on low to medium -- (4 hrs on high).

1/2 - 1 hour before serving, add the next three ingredients.

After the soup starts to thicken, it is ready to serve.

Top with shredded cheese!!

Another Game

Ok, I am totally board out of my mind. I should be cleaning or something since my two sick babies are STILL sleeping. But, I am not and I have nothing to do, so here is another little fun game.

Copy the questions to your blog and fill them out. Tag a few people to do the same!

1. Blogger that you most want to meet in person? -- Christina -- You have been there with me since the beginning of my blogging days and for a long time you were my only reader and commenter (is that a word...LOL). I heart you and if you are EVER in Ohio, girl, give me a call!

2. Blogger who makes you laugh the most? -- Dooce -- She has a hilarious way of writing about life and what it is like to raise a little girl.

3. Blogger whose template(skin) is the coolest? -- Taylor -- I love the new heading with all the different pictures of your very cute daughter!

4. Blogger you can't wait to read a new entry from? -- I have to admit that I always go to Christina's site first. She is the one that had inspired me to start a blog and I love reading about all the great stories of Lexie and now Emmie!

Oh yeah, and three posts in one day, a major record for me!!!

And if you would like to be tagged, well you are IT! Let me know so I can come read your personal blogger preferences!

Oh, I hope I don't get it.

So I made an awesome potato soup in the crock pot today with cheese, garlic biscuits to go with it. Finally Gary gets home from work and I put it on the table to eat and he says that his stomach doesn't feel so well. So, he took one bite and went to take a nap. Well, I ate it and it was awesome!!! Now I have to clean out that friggin' crock pot, not so awesome.

Alyssa still won't eat, not even crackers. She has been drinking her pedialyte pretty good, so I am happy about that. But, she threw up again after her morning nap (which turned into an afternoon nap - 3 1/2 hours, wow). She is also taking a nap again!

I am sooo praying I don't get this. I don't mind taking care of my two babies, but I really don't want to catch it.

Oh, but one good thing, Alyssa was soo cuddly this afternoon. She cuddled with me while I rocked her in the glider. It was an awesome bonding moment, even if she doesn't feel so well. I am glad that I was able to be here for her today. For those of you who don't know, Alyssa is a non-cuddly baby. She never liked to be cuddled or would put her head on my shoulder if she was tired. Alyssa is VERY independent!!

I called off of work today

No, not just because I didn't feel like going. (Although I never feel like going anymore).

The reason is because Alyssa threw up all over her crib this morning.

Yesterday she did the same thing, threw up in the morning after she woke up and acted as if she felt fine all day. So, I really didn't think much of it. I have noticed that in the past few days she really hasn't eaten much of anything. She also had diarrhea, which I originally thought was because on Monday she ate a lot of fruit.

So, I am waiting until her doctors office open so I can call and see what they say.

I have to vent again about my MIL (sorry Gary). When Gary called her this morning to tell her that we wouldn't be coming over today (She watches Alyssa on Thursdays), she told us that she has the same thing as Alyssa (throwing up and diarrhea). Why didn't she call us this morning to tell us that? If Alyssa was well, I wouldn't want her over there, because I wouldn't want her to catch that. We didn't call her early this morning either, we called her at the time we should have been arriving at her house.

Anyways, Alyssa is acting normal again, with the exception of the not eating thing. Not eating for Alyssa is NOT normal.